1.??

     “You’re trying to control my life,” says my nine-year-old son. “I don’t know why you think you can do that, but you can’t.” I receive this bit of information after I asked Gabriele to put his dirty socks in the basket. And I get no sympathy from my mother, who says, “You let him have his way from the beginning.”

      It’s true; I have always asked Gabriele’s opinion, found out how he felt about things—treated him as my peer, not as my child. And what have I got from my troubles? A lot of back talk. At least I’m not alone; it’s a complaint heard among parents across the country.

      It’s not just that we’re confused by the contradictory advice offered in parenting books. The fact is, in an effort to break away from how we were raised—to try something more liberal than our parents’ “do it because I say so” approach—our generation has gone too far. “Today’s parents want to be young, so they try to be friends with their children,” says Kathy Lynn, a parenting educator.

     “When it comes to discipline, our society has gone from one extreme to the other,” says Ron Moorish, a behavior specialist. “We used to use the strap, to intimidate. Then we had permissiveness, and now it’s about giving children choices and allowing them to learn from their own experiences.”

     Real discipline, says Moorish, is about teaching. “By correcting our children when they do something wrong, we teach them how to behave properly,” he says. But this only works, he emphasizes, if parents regain their position of authority. Children will always be children. The key is for parents to choose to take the time to guide and teach their kids.

     Rita Munday, a mother of four children, couldn’t believe the dramas that played out in the children’s shoe store she operated. She often saw children insist on having the high-priced, brand-name shoes. And even when the mother didn’t want to spend the money, she would give in when the kid started acting up and throwing shoes around.

     Rhonda Radice, Munday’s younger colleague, is one parent who has bucked the trend—and is proud of it. “I don’t negotiate with them. You can’t. I’ve seen parents come into the store and bribe their children to behave. You shouldn’t have to buy love and respect.”

1).?The author’s way of treating her son ______.

A.

is shared by many parents  

B.

is encouraged by her mother

C.  

proves to be quite successful

D.

shows little concern for the child

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